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Writing Humor

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(In case you need a little chuckle today)

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...............

 1.  You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

  2.  You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

  3.  You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your  family of  three.

   4.  You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

   5.  Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

   6.  You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

  7.  Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

  8.  Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

  10.  You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

   11.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile.  : )

   12.  You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

  13.  Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

  14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

  15.  You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

  AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

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GLOBALIZATION HUMOR: "Euro English"

 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
 English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,  which was the other possibility.

 As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that  English
 spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
 phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

 In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this  will make
 the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in  favour of
 "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one
 less letter.

 There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
 troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
 fotograf 20% shorter.

 In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the ne w spelling kan be  expekted to
 reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
 always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the
 horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

 By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
 "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

 During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
 kontaining "ou"  and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

 Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
 tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

 Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
 in ze forst plas.

 

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Olny srmat poelpe can raed ths

I cluodnt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan
mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is
taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling
was ipmorantt!

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